SMS No: 1
A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.
SMS No: 2
It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job: it's a depression when you lose yours.
SMS No: 3
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
   
SMS No: 4
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

SMS No: 5
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

SMS No: 6
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

SMS No: 7
"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."

SMS No: 8
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

SMS No: 9 
"Never stand between a dog and the hydrant."
SMS No: 10 
"Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality."
 SMS No: 11
100. "Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?"
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husband is like a fine wine

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
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If Harry Potter's so magical

If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.
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like my Grandfather

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
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Girls are like phones

Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
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beauty than brains - Funny Comments Sms

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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It's true that we don't know

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
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passengers in his car

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
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people think it must be fun

"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world," Calvin.
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global warming they expect the world

Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing - Gary Coleman is going to drown.
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Friendship is like peeing

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
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the father told his son

You should be ashamed," the father told his son, "When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school." "Really?" the kid said. "Well when he was your age, he was president."

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can a pizza get to your house faster than an

JUST FOR FUN…
Only in America...
Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance...
Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating
rink...
Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry,
and a diet coke...
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens
to the counters...
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage...
Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place...
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight...
Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process
so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking
creatures"...
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bare arms!

The National Short-Sleeved Shirt Association says:
Support your right to bare arms!
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when you go to court

Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!
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Irish terrorist who tried to scare America?

Did you hear about the Irish terrorist who tried to scare America?
He covered his monitor with Anthrax and then sent an e-mail to the US President.
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Turn signals will give away your next move-Funny Comment SMS

SMS NO: 1
Turn signals will give away your next move. A real driver never uses them.
SMS NO: 2
A new wagon designed for LA rush hour traffic is called the Stationary wagon.
SMS NO: 3 
A banker fell over board from a boat. His friends couldn't find a life preserver.
One asked, "Can you float alone?"
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A right-lane construction

A right-lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same drivers to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.
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is youre father a robber - Funny comment sms

SMS - 1
is youre father a robber ? well who stole the stars and put them in ure eyes ?
SMS - 2
U gotta B a parking ticket or something coz u got the word FINE written All over ya!
SMS - 3 
HERE'S 10p GO AND PHONE YER MAM AND TELL HER YOU WOAN'T BECOMING HOME TONITE
SMS - 4
im no fred flintstone but i'll make ur bedrock
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guys were walking down the street

These four guys were walking down the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.
A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"
The Saudi says, "Excuse me, what's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "Excuse me, what's meat?"
The North Korean says, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?"
The New Yorker, says, "Excuse me?? Actually, what's excuse me?"
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100 Funny comment sms collection at bdlovesms.blogspot.com

SMS: 1
do u believe in love at first site or do i have to walk by again
SMS: 2
if i said u had a hot body would u hold it against me
SMS: 3 
im really good at algerbra but am having trouble getting your digit
SMS: 4
can i have pic of u coz i wana show santa wot i wnt 4 xmas!
SMS: 5 
My magical watch says you aren't wearing any underwear!
Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast.
SMS: 6
"r ur legs tired"? coz uve been runnin through my mined all day
SMS: 7 
There are 256 bones in your body! Would u like another?
SMS: 8 
if i cood re arrange da alphabet i wood put u and i together
SMS: 9 
ive lost my teddy bear.......do u want to sleep with me tonight?
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Theres an urgent meeting in the jungle

Theres an urgent meeting in the jungle! Everyones there.. lions, tigers, cheetas and ape, but the meetin cant start because the monkey is reading this text
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bcoz u love me

If U delete this message thats bcoz u love me. If u save it thats bcoz u desire me & if u ignore it thats bcoz u miss me. So what u gonna do with IT?
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where on earth is my roof? - Free funny comment sms

Sms NO: 1 - why do i text u? its my choice its my way of sayin dat i remembr u. why do i remembr u? il neva know its not my choice its my hearts.

Sms NO: 2 - Last nite I lay in bed looking at the stars- the beautiful sky and the endless horizon....& suddenly I thought...where on earth is my roof?
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A good friend is like a good bra

A good friend is like a good bra... hard 2 find- comfortable- supportive- prevents u from falling- holds u tight- and is always close 2 ur heart!
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Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year

Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!
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Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year

Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!
Read More


Dear friend! Do you take me

Dear friend! Do you take me 2 b your lawful text mate.2 have & 2 hold.4 dirty quotes or saucy jokes.in text messaging & in poor signal.til low battery do us part?
Read More


If a big fat man creeps

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas!
Read More


If a big fat man creeps

If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas!
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Smilin is infexous u catch

Smilin is infexous u catch it lik d flu.wen sum1 smild at me 2day i startd smilin 2.now im infectd iv sent it thru dis txt.so now ur smiling who wil it go2 next?
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report 2 my bedroom

i hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 0569 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks &sex appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom
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They charged one and let the one off.

NEWSFLASH.. Police arrested 2 kids yesterday: 1 was drinking battery acid the other was eating fireworks.They charged one and let the one off.
Read More


An independant study has proven

NEWSFLASH* An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!
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4 taking the piss

i'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss
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Police say they have nothing to go on.

NEWS FLASH: The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
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ts a bloody good deal!

NEWFLASH tell all ur female m8s dat u can get 1000 tampons for £1.No strings attacthed but 4 limited period.Its a bloody good deal!
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You’re Attractive Gorgeous

You’re Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you’re becoming more like me everyday!
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Ur cute gorgeous fine

Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed …oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said!
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I saw sumthing in da shop

 I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION
Read More


remind u about remindin me

Pls remind me 2 remind u about remindin me to send u dis reminder oh dat reminds me can u remind me wot the reminder was ive forgot!
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Piss the taking is someone

Piss the taking is someone that realise u this like times at its! NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!!
Read More


i wanted to send u a msg

. Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: "noh ss!w !". it didn't make much sense until i read it upside down...
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MEN-opause MEN-strual pain

MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??
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Free Funny Comment sms - I am in Team

Sms: 1 
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
Sms: 2 
Sure, there's no 'i' in team, but there is an 'm' and an 'e'.
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Im not under d affluence

Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get
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We spend the first twelve months

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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he bigger the crowd

People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up.
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A computer once beat me at chess- Free Funny comment sms

SMS: - 1 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

 SMS: - 2  I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying

 SMS: - 3  If I'd known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself.

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A person without a sese

A person without a sese of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. -Henry Ward Beecher
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Free Funny comment sms

SMS: 1
 I do benefits for all religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

SMS: 2
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.

SMS: 3 
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

SMS: 4 
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. -E. B. White

SMS: 5 
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

SMS: 6
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. -E. B. White
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SMS: 1
I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true.
SMS: 2 
Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.

SMS: 3 
More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems, back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.
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An archaeologist is the best husband

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
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I'm tired of all this nonsense

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want -- an adorable pancreas?
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Every day I get up

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
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Every speaker has a mouth

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.
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The power of accurate

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
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Let me tell you something

Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil.
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I always divide people into two groups.

I always divide people into two groups. Those who live by what they know to be a lie, and those who live by what they believe, falsely, to be the truth.
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fifteen years to discover

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous.
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you don't love a man

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do
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Funny Comment SMS template Collection

Sms: 1
The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected.
Sms: 2
nobody is perfect, I am Nobody
Sms: 3
Don’t worry when you walk through Your LIFE...
Coz U ve tied me Tightly on your shoes and I wont make U Fall"..:-)
Sms: 4
You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.
Sms:5
Always forgive your enemies -- Nothing annoys them so much.
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